Serenity
by Scandalacious Intentions
Summary: It is the first time Remus has held a child since he was babysitting James' and he's apprehensive but he holds his arms in position dutifully and takes his first look at his baby son.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I have university fees to pay. Seriously, I literally own nothing - especially not the rights to Harry Potter or I would not have this problem.**

**A/N: I just **_**had**_** to write this after catching sight of my neighbour with his baby son in the garden. They were just adorable in the extreme.**

Now that he thinks about it, Remus Lupin doesn't quite understand the lunacy that led him to fear this little blue bundle. How can so much fear spring from something so small and helpless?

It is the first time he has held a child since he was babysitting James' and he's apprehensive but he holds his arms in position dutifully. The slight weight will soon become familiar, and he knows this, but he is fascinated by it now. Slowly he rocks his arms and becomes accustomed to it.

The blue blanket is patched and fraying at the sides. For once, he is not mortified by this. This was _his_, dug out from a battered trunk in his mother's attic. Secretly, he's pleased she kept his baby clothes and furniture. Not only because it's saved him a great deal of money he does not have, but because he hopes he will be sentimental about this child. He hopes he will love it.

Truth be told, he's terrified because his wife held their son and fell in love immediately, smiling dreamily at him and crying and laughing at the same time. He's just holding a baby and pretending to be thrilled.

He can barely even see the child at the moment. His son is neatly wrapped in faded cornflower blue cotton with a hood that shields his face. Slowly, as though he is expecting to find the Hunchback of Notre Dame hidden beneath the folds, Lupin peels back the fabric and is surprised to find a silent infant staring up at him with rapt attention.

The intensity of the boy's gaze is enough to catch him off guard and he laughs nervously, averting his eyes and studying other aspects of the child's face.

Certainly, he's not unattractive. Truthfully, he is a beautiful baby with round rosy cheeks and a tiny nose that looks just like his father's did. His skin is the same creamy colour and his hair is, for the moment, the colour of new pennies. Lupin can't help but think it's like looking at himself in miniature.

At least until he meets his son's eyes, a shade of storm cloud grey that for years he has associated with Sirius and thought he would never see again, when the breath is knocked out of him and a sudden rush of love sweeps over him culminating in a heavy thump at the pit of his stomach.

He's never known a love like this. He's never thought he could even feel this much of it. He realises as his son's eyelids flutter and close, that he would do anything for this child. Absolutely anything.

He has always said he would die for his wife and hoped the need would never arise, but watching his baby son sleep, he is forced to finally admit that he understands even the craziest of James' decisions. He understands the paranoia and the sleepless nights. He understands the terrible fear and chill through his heart at the thought of anything causing his little blue bundle pain.

The little blue bundle is now his world.

"You're perfect," he croaks, tracing the soft skin of his son's cheek with the back of a finger. He doesn't know that there's anything more to say just yet.

He can't quite believe that he helped to create something this beautiful. He's always seen himself as a monster and yet he has produced a small, soft cherub with breathtaking silver eyes.

He expected the child to cry, to sense he was in the arms of a dangerous and dark creature and wail for his mother. He's still registering the fact that this child felt safe enough in his arms to merely look up at him in silence and promptly fall asleep. For the first time in his adult life, he is serene, safe now in the knowledge that he is needed and loved unconditionally by his little family.

For the first time in his life, he feels completely at peace with the world.

Before he has time to register it, he's smiling goofily at the child and crying and laughing at the same time.


End file.
